On the fear of sharing, and school supplies

My last post, "On Doctor Who," sat there, saved as a draft, for nearly a week before I finally got up the nerve to click the orange "publish" button.

Maybe I'm scared to post things to the internet because I'm scared of doing something stupid and being judged for it, maybe because I'm scared of somehow going viral for some reason, maybe because I don't want to become even more addicted to the internet than I already am. Whatever the reason, however, I am, indeed, scared of posting things to the internet.
Part of me thinks this is a fear to be overcome, that it's like stage fright, and that I need to just grow up and push past it.
Part of me also thinks that, maybe, I feel that fear for a reason. Maybe some part of my subconscious knows that no good will come if I post too many things to the internet.

Regardless, I feel that fear. And, regardless, I'm posting things to the internet.



I love shopping for school supplies. I'm not sure why I do, but I know it's not just me, and that lots of people love shopping for school supplies. Maybe the act of buying something new reminds students that there is a new year about to commence, and maybe the act of buying is just really fun. Regardless, school shopping is awesome.

Sorry for the lower-quality post.
Do you enjoy school shopping? Do you ever get internet posting-related anxiety? I'd genuinely like to know.

On Doctor Who

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

That's how I felt about Doctor Who when I started watching it maybe 5 years ago. I always tried to get people to watch it, and I would always be overjoyed to find another person who watched it already, because, in America, or, at least, where I live, it was like a secret little club.
I know a lot of people found out about Doctor Who through Youtubers like Charlie McDonnell. Incidentally, I found out about Charlie McDonnell and other Youtubers through Doctor Who. One day, my mom showed me the original video for "Blink," and I was already a Whovian, and I thought it was great. A few years later, I thought, "Hey... I wanna watch that video again. And I wonder what that guy's doing now!" Well, "that guy" was getting close to hitting a million subscribers, and has since passed that mark.
While I think it's great that so many more people are discovering and enjoying a great show, I miss the feeling of being in a secret club that came with the show not being very well known in America. If you found another Whovian, you'd quote little bits of the show and discuss your favorite episodes, and you'd know that, if they liked the show, despite it not being popular, then they must really like the show. They weren't doing it for appearances. You'd have this thing that you both knew about, and the people around you had no idea.
I normally keep this feeling to myself because people see it as an "incorrect" feeling to have. People mock you for being a "hipster," and feel insulted, attacked, if they're one of the recently-converted Whovians. I don't mean to insult or attack!
Maybe part of the reason I feel this way about the show is that I tried to get people to watch it when I first found it, but they wouldn't. Now, they're watching it because they've heard about it on tumblr, on Youtube, from other people, and that's great! I'm glad they're watching it! I'm glad they're enjoying it! I am, however, a little hurt that they wouldn't watch it when I suggested it, but are watching and loving it now. And that's another part of the problem: I don't know that they really are enjoying it. There are some new Whovians who obviously enjoy the show as much as I think they should, but there are even more who seem to like it because it's "cool" to like it, without really appreciating it for being as fantastic as it is.
But, of course, that's ridiculous; I can't know whether or not they really like it! Furthermore, everyone reacts differently to things, everyone likes different things for different reasons and at different levels. But the "weird evangelical zeal" that Doctor Who instilled in me carried with it an expectation that new viewers would also be filled with that same feeling. So, when I hear someone say, "Doctor Who is weird, but I like it," I'm glad that they like it, but I'm also a bit angry and defensive about their thinking it's weird, imperfect. This is also, of course, ridiculous, because it's not perfect -- nothing is. It just feels like some kind of blasphemy to insult the show, because I've been so attached to it for so long.

I feel torn because, while I'm really happy that they like the show, I liked it being a "secret" (in America), I'm hurt that they didn't watch it when I recommended it to them, but are watching it so much now, and I feel like they don't always like it "enough" or "in the right way." I try to fight feeling angry about it, because I know that's not fair. People watched the show before I did, and I would have been sad and defensive if someone was angry about my watching it.
And, I suppose, I'm also a little hurt because, since I've loved it so much for nearly 5 years, the show is personal for me. I love it, and I don't want to share it. Which is, of course, ridiculous. The show isn't mine to share. Other people are sharing it with me. A whole other country is sharing it with me. I have no right. And, yet, I still feel this way.

Doctor Who isn't the only thing I feel this way about. Do you feel this way about anything?

How to enjoy your last bit of summer

I know why I'm writing this post. It's because there's no better incentive to do something than knowing that there's something entirely different that you should be doing instead.

My summer's almost over (it already feels like it's over because all these clubs and groups are deciding to start meeting and making us students do things before school even starts), and I'm worried I may have wasted it. I'm sure there are other people, students or otherwise, who feel similarly and want to be able to look back on their summer with satisfaction rather than mild disappointment. To help myself and anyone else interested achieve that goal, I've made some guidelines for "How To Enjoy Your Last Bit Of Summer And Not Hate Your Past Self For Wasting So Much Time Seriously Come On Did I Really Need To Watch All Those Cat Videos." Of course, some of them won't be universally relatable, but I can only write from what I know.

1. Get off tumblr. For anyone who has discovered how ridiculously addicting tumblr is, it may be tempting to sit inside all day looking at pretty pictures of people doing things outside instead of actually doing things outside yourself, but after the third day of wondering what happened between 9 a.m., when you woke up early to be productive, and 1 a.m. the following morning, when you finally managed to tear yourself away from your computer screen, you'll start to regret ever hearing of tumblr. (If this is the first time you've ever heard of tumblr... I'm sorry. Also, this guideline has now done the opposite of what I intended it to. Rather than enjoying your last bit of summer, you may find yourself spending countless consecutive hours looking at Sherlock gifs and pictures of Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield. Try to resist, for summer's sake.)
2. Wake up early enough that you can still do something fun with your day. While sleeping late may feel nice, it does steal away some of the time in which you could be doing other things.
3. Even when you're stuck in one place, where there is seemingly little to do, don't let yourself become bored. There's always something to do. You're only bored if you're boring. (Too harsh? Sorry.)
4. If you haven't done the stereotypical "summer stuff," get out there and do it now, while the weather's still warm enough and you're still free enough. Haven't spent a day lounging around by a pool, or swimming around in a pool, or at a beach, or on a hike, or having a picnic? Haven't had an insane all-nighter movie night? Haven't gone to a fair, or a carnival, or a concert? Do it now! You might not have time once summer's over.
5. Do the things you promised yourself during the school year that you'd do during the summer. You owe it to Past You (typing that makes me think of when, in "How I Met Your Mother," Present Ted says he hates Past Ted) to do the things you spent whole class periods daydreaming about.

And, by the way, I'm Violet. I am, among other things, a Nerdfighter, a Whovian, a Browncoat, and a Sherlockian. How/who are you? I'd genuinely like to know! Some things I intend to do with this blog include reviewing things, making lists, and hopefully also making both sense and good points.